the 4am jitters

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It’s 4am.

I should be fast asleep. But I’m wide awake. Both boys are in bed. Joe is blissfully snoring. Not too loud (thank you Jesus!), & Oliver is doing is normal toss and turn. And the painful, pitiful, whimper that just breaks my heart.

At 7am we check-in for Oli’s surgery. Which begins at 8am. If all goes well, we should be able to leave & be home before 10am. And on the beautiful road to recovery!

Oliver has been dealing with chronic ear infections for the last 11 months. Maybe longer. The earliest ear infection I can remember was at 6 months old, but to be honest, he’s had so many, we’ve lost count. I know that they seemed to hit every 4-6 weeks. Or at least they would get bad enough to the point where we had to take him in every 4-6 weeks. We have become well known & loved at the doctors office 🙂

I may not remember the number of ear infections Oliver has had, but I know that the last 6 weeks have been the hardest, roughest & most miserable ones for our little guy. I’m sure that you (yes, you the reader, reading this post right now) have experienced an ear infection or earache at one point in your life. Over the course of the last 6 weeks, Oli has had a persistent, stubborn, painful, double ear infection. He walks around rubbing his ears, yanking his ears, or rubbing his neck right below his ears. He’s a bit off balance. His appetite is gone. He wakes up every 90 minutes or so crying and holding his ears — the cold night air makes ear infections worse. He’s been grumpy (I totally get grumpy when I have a little headache, so he gets a free pass for 6 weeks of ear pain). And I wish I could say we just give him baby tylenol or ibuprofen for the pain, but because of all the antibiotics recently, he’s doing the “if you try & bring that dropper/syringe full of grape goo towards me I’ll grab it and run!” thing, or (my personal favorite) the “if you put it in my mouth I’ll spit it out, & continue to spit for 90 seconds because I’m a toddler” thing. Needless to say, we’ve been doing what we can to help our guy out. He takes Pediasure well, & we are able to mix some tylenol in that or his almond milk. He loves, loves, LOVES, being rubbed down with essential oils! I’ll use some lavender around his ears to help soothe those on really rough days. We play hard when he’s up & playful, and we rest when he needs it.

At 7am this morning, we check in for what will hopefully be the light at the end of the ear infection tunnel. 8am is surgery time. Which is why I’m up at 4am, anxious, nervous, & not sleeping. I know that this will be the quickest procedure, & that Oliver is in awesome hands. I know how he is being put to sleep, what he’ll be wearing while in surgery, what time we should be ready to go home. What makes me so nervous is that I won’t be able to be there. Physically be there. With all this anxiety, I’m reminded of this passage from Philippians.

{Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
 — Philippians 4:6}

Thankfully, even though I can’t physically be in the surgical suite with Oliver, I know that Jesus will be. That soothes my anxious heart better than a tub of ice cream soothes a break up 😉

I’m off to try and get a catnap before our big day. Say a prayer for us friends!



My Body, My Temple

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A couple of my favorite bloggers wrote about a great topic recently:

Self Care

After reading their posts, I realized that I don’t take care of myself. So for the first 6 months of the year, each month is going to be dedicated to focusing on one aspect of self care. The objective is to have a habit by the end of each month so that by July, I’ll have picked up 6 new, fantastic habits.

{Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20}

January: Health

{Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. – James 5: 14-15a}

Since I started out this month very ill with the flu/bronchitis, I have decided to focus on health. I am drinking more water, less fast food, taking vitamins, trying to use essential oils first before over the counter medications… you get the picture. One big thing I’m promising myself is that if I start feeling under the weather, I will immediately take care of me. I will stop & rest.

February: Sleep

{If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. – Proverbs 3:24}

This will tie in nicely with Health. My NOC schedule makes my sleep schedule difficult. I try & get 8 hours of sleep a day, but end up with 4-5 on a good day. If I can conquer sleep, it’ll help tremendously with self care!

March: Cleanliness

{For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. – 1 Corinthians 6:20}

Major confession time.

Between work, mommy duties, wife duties, & everything else… I find that taking a shower is on the bottom of the to-do list. Don’t get me wrong, I shower, I wash my hands, brush my teeth, wash my face… I’m a generally clean person. But before I became a mama, I showered daily! Now that privilege has been replaced with Oliver things & baths. He does manage to soak me from head to toe with all the splashing he does 😉 So in March, I’m going to refocus my attention on personal cleanliness. I’ll wash my hair more often so I don’t have to use baby powder in-between 😉

April: Nutrition

{Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.- Genesis 9:3}

I’m terrible about my eating habits. Absolutely awful. This month, I’ll focus on eating less fast food, less sweets, and more quinoa, chicken, brown rice, veggies, fruits & other good, healthy things. Its going to take a lot of will-power & prayer to make it thru this month.

May: Fitness

{For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. – 1 Timothy 4:8}

Working out is good for the body. Its great to keep yourself strong & in shape. But, its not the only thing that matters in life. While I’ll be working out all year long, the month of May will be used to refocus. Why am I working out? What purpose is it serving? What do I need to change?

June: Beauty

{You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. – Song of Songs 4:7}

I want to embrace my femininity. I want my husband to look at me and say “Wow! My wife is gorgeous!”. I want to fix my hair, put on some make-up and feel beautiful! I love wearing my “comfy” clothes, but I know they aren’t for all occasions. After five months of health, sleep, cleanliness, nutrition & fitness prep, beauty makes sense as the last month. As with fitness, making myself up & adorning myself with cute clothes, shoes & jewelery is not what matters. What matters is that I’m taking care of myself & not lazily lounging around in yoga pants all day.

So here’s to being intentional about self care in 2014! Hopefully by July I’ll have new habits instilled within me and I’ll be ready to take on life as a mama who knows self care 🙂